I wanna go back when I thought that House Hunters was real and I could feel like I'm not worthless, life had purpose who am I kidding, I'm not the one who knows what's going on I'll just leave little bits of myself everywhere I've been like the world is my bedroom floor You may never see me again but you'll never forget the hat I wore I'm closer to people on the internet that I have never even met than those who share my last name Never looked inside myself to think what any of this all means Too busy playing xbox and looking at stupid memes So how can I say I wanna take it slow when I speed everywhere I go? And I get anxious without my phone, and I get anxious when I'm alone I wanna go back when I thought that House Hunters was real and I could feel like I'm not worthless, life had purpose who am I kidding, I'm not the one who knows what's going on I'll just write some really over-specific words over chords that everybody's heard And I'll play em on guitar so I can call it real music Post it on the internet to send to people I've never met so they can say it's okay But this is what it's like to know what goes on in my head Won't tell anyone who cares, I'll just tell the whole world instead So how can I say I want something new when I get scared at the thought of you? And I never know what to do, and I never think anything through I wanna go back when I thought that House Hunters was real and I could feel like I'm not worthless, life had purpose who am I kidding, I'm not the one who knows what's going on And looking back, it all makes sense And looking back is how all my time is spent And looking back, it all makes sense And looking back is how all my time is spent I wanna know why it made me cry thinking about this House Hunters show How many hours would we watch it? House Hunters reruns, how was that fun? It's the dumbest shit I miss

(fuck) Is it hard to tell me you don't care about me? It's easy to leave me alone Is it weird to see me when you should be my enemy? Should I call you a friend? I wish you'd ask how I'm doing cause I'm not gonna call I wish you'd tell me you'd listen or if you don't care at all I wish I was priority number one It's pretty clear I'm not a runner up The signals you send me are broken, I can't see what is real and what is not The static makes patterns that I know don't matter but I can't help focusing on them I wish you'd tell me you hate me cause I'm not very smart I wish you'd just ghost me or leave me cause I am holding on I wish I was capable of being done cause it's still clear I'm not a runner up I wish you'd ask how I'm doing cause I'm not gonna call I wish you'd tell me you'd listen or if you don't care at all I wish I was priority number one It's pretty clear I'm not a runner up

The other day I got nostalgic over helicopter seeds you know the ones that kinda look like lay's potato chips I'm baffled that a plant could make me feel so hopeless but then again it was just as lost as I am How'd it make its way inside my apartment? Mint condition, couldn't've tracked it in Opened the door for only a minute and he was intrigued by the conditions I live in Sometimes I'll smell that perfume you wore or something else that just reminds me of us that I can't quite put my finger on and just it reminds me why I loved you and not why we broke up I have to tell myself: stop thinking with my monkey brain Nostalgia sucks cause you don't long for the pain It's false advertising and I want a refund or a lawsuit something that cements the idea that we're both way happier since I left you What's the point of that fake joy nostalgia brings you? Only to a moment later think all the bad things too yeah, I love the cocoa and the presents on Christmas but I'm not about the seasonal depression As a kid, I played house to act successful Now I'm hoping I can stop pretending soon Wishing I could do the opposite and pretend to be a kid But I don't remember what I did before the internet Don't remember how to be human Don't know what to do with my hands Don't remember how I got this far It feels like I'm signing with crayon Don't remember how to be human Don't know what to do with my hands Don't remember how I got this far cause I'm a big ol garbage man Don't remember how to be human Don't know what to do with my hands Don't remember how I got this far but at least I'm doing what I can I don't remember how to be human Don't know what to do with my hands Don't remember how I got this far cause i'm a big ol garbage man I don't remember how I got this far cause i'm a big ol garbage man (woo!)

Inflated credit score, invalidated friends Focused on the macro and yet blind to the trends Praising broken systems, breaking others down Downing loads of whiskey, vanilla flavored crown You've never had a problem, so why would anyone else? Eating all the bread, but won't restock the shelves I wish I'd believe karma would give you a challenge A support network can't be bought with your dad's amex It's funny how you wouldn't even think of being in someone else's shoes unless their name is Lebron James The hypocrisy when you say to me, "fiscally conservative, social liberally" You've never had it rough, you've always had enough So how dare you act like you know what is tough cause nobody asked, but you have the answers nobody asked, but you have the answers nobody asked, but you have the answers why don't you google "empathy" Luxury safety net, a nest egg you didn't lay I'm over hard work when hard work doesn't pay I'm over easy living being a personal choice How can they speak up when you took out their voice? Why's your head so big? It's not full of anxieties What's their to think about beyond surviving? Center of everything including attention You're the speaker at the No One Asked Convention It's funny how you wouldn't even think of being in someone else's shoes unless their name is Lebron James The hypocrisy when you say to me, "fiscally conservative, social liberally" You've never had it rough, you've always had enough So how dare you act like you know what is tough cause nobody asked, but you have the answers nobody asked, but you have the answers nobody asked, but you have the answers why don't you google "empathy" The hypocrisy when you say to me, "fiscally conservative, social liberally" You've never had it rough, you've always had enough So how dare you act like you know what is tough cause nobody asked, but you have the answers nobody asked, but you have the answers nobody asked, but you have the answers why don't you google "empathy"

Remember the movie inception? I kinda wanna do that so you'll figure out Without the need for conversation Otherwise I don't think I'll spit it out Are you worthy of that information? or am I just afraid of speaking it into existence? Not great at communication, but my body language has been awfully consistent All these hints and clues are a line short of spilling truth But you'll see what you wanna see You oughtta know by now, something's not quite right You should've learned by now how to read between the lines Maybe they're not so straight, but it doesn't always work that way I don't think it's quite fair to put the burden all on me The elephant in the room is breaking all my bones Are you blind or are you just acting like you don't know? You oughtta know by now, something's not quite right You should've learned by now how to read between the lines Maybe they're not so straight, but it doesn't always work that way I don't think it's quite fair to put the burden all on me The elephant in the room is breaking all my bones Are you blind or are you just acting like you don't know? Wish I could visit your dreams See what happens behind the scenes Is it a computer or a bunch of little mini-mes running around chaotically? I imagine that's what it's like for me Do I have to tell you? Can I write it on an post-it note? Leave it somewhere hard to find and quickly head on home Do I have to tell you, why can't it just be known? Maybe I'll call you late, leave a message at the tone and it says You oughtta know by now, something's not quite right You should've learned by now how to read between the lines Maybe they're not so straight, but it doesn't always work that way I don't think it's quite fair to put the burden all on me The elephant in the room is breaking all my bones Are you blind or are you just acting like you don't know? You oughtta know by now, something's not quite right You should've learned by now how to read between the lines Maybe they're not so straight, but it doesn't always work that way I don't think it's quite fair to put the burden all on me The elephant in the room is breaking all my bones Are you blind or are you just acting like you don't know? Wish I was an open book instead of a diary Wish you would read me like I'm full of secrets Wish I was an open book instead of a diary Wish you would read me at all